i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
