So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize