I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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