youre lurking in front of me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
