This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize