ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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