Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm too high and old for this...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize