Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
