honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
