I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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