put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
