You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
