'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize