I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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