R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
