if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
