We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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