Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
