I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
