Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
