If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
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Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
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Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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