508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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