Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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