The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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