I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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