You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize