I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
