I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
