YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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