i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
