hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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