dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you didnt know i had herpes?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The Olympian is in my bed
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
