tell your sister to shave her snatch
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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