just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I have fence marks all over my body
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
