she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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