A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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