yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
