I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
