I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
