a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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