I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize