shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
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I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
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I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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