"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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