no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
