my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize