this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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