I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
honey bunches of taint.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
