You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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