i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
