i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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