Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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