my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
