shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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