I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You are the jesus of drinking
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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