So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
