butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
