You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
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