His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
