Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
